By chance, I had to think of some Biology today. I somehow got very confused. I felt incompetent to make a decision. Was a cholesterol a protein? There's something about -ol that makes me want to call it a protein. But I know it's a lipid! I also thought of terms like hydrophilic and hydrophobic, I thought of how a protein consists of 3 parts, and a lipid is just really a fat with a glycerol and fatty acids, I thought about how a protein vaguely could SEEM to have had a property where it can neutralise acid and alkali, I thought about how I used to be so sure... Now, after two years, I don't remember a single thing! I feel that maybe I wasted my studious years... Those were the times when I was most studious. But I was never REALLY keen on studying... I don't want to study science anymore. On the other hand, I still remember, ironically, articles from Chinese lessons. In Form 5, we had to memorize articles. I forget most of them. But I do remember many of them in fragments and some of the central teaching. "曰：「德何如則可以王矣？」曰：「保民而王，莫之能禦也。" "王之不王，是折枝之類也。老吾老，以及人之老；幼吾幼，以及人之幼；天下可運於掌。" Sounds familiar? I need to write 2 talks by tomorrow, or more accurately, by morning! One to be given at a district conference for my church on Saturday evening and one to be given on Sunday morning at my regular church meeting... I find these quotes handy! And it's the first thing I thought of when I got my assignment to give talks!...
Instead of the Science that I've been studying, it's the Chinese wisdom that I find more applicable and accessible (from my head) in life. I've always thought that Science is more practical. And actually, I found it to be the EASY way! I really admire ARTS students! I thought at least from my school, the smart or maybe truly WISE ones were the ones who were capable of studying the ARTS. The Chinese Literature students were rather refined. They were actually interested in the culture. Some exhibited strength in calligraphy, and other Chinese arts.
I used to feel I could remember the science I've learned. But now I realise, it's not important to me anymore. I really have no desire to study anything computational. I really don't care... But it's not like I want to study Chinese Literature! That'd be instant suicide. I'm sure anyone who knows me would testify! hahaha... So, now, I don't want to study Science, I am not capable of studying ARTS, and I don't want to be a businessman... So that rules out pretty much EVERYTHING!!!...
Maybe I should be like ar GAP! Be a FIREMAN! Sounds exciting! Get to get tough, ride in a truck, embrace life as you stare death in the face... Seems like a life well spent. | 